@Irene_L.A. wrote:

@Niner wrote:

I don't have kids. I'm robbing my mom of grandkids?!? That is not a fair definition. I would be at high risk for complications, hence, no kids. Maybe don't be so fast to judge people.

I'm sure your Mom understand and is not selfish which is why you turned out so well, your an Attorney....

My mom is actually mentally challenged. I help her out. She has a job with the state that my grandparents got for her. When I used to visit her at work before I went to court, which was next door to her job, there was definitely confusion. I think I waa born to look after her. Her parents are gone. It has all worked out. If I had kids, I would not be able to help her as much as I have.

The way humans are using up natural resources and creating global warming I have to wonder if the declining population isn't an evolutionary response.


Grandkids are great but if you don't have any you could do a world of good for foster kids by volunteering, even just reading at the library would make a difference in their lives.


I only care that my child is happy. If that is without kids, then so be it.

@LindaM wrote:

Most Americans don’t have anything in the bank or anything for retirement.

So sad, and so true.

40% of people are counting on winning the lottery as their retirement plan. I was flabbergasted when I heard that. Yet, I see so many poor people at the gas stations buying tickets and scratchers every single time I am there.

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”
? Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Anyway, it was interesting to mention retirement. I was reading something about expectations and life outcomes. Some people who have not saved or invested millions (but made it to the several hundred thousand dollar mark) have managed to live out their retirements without feeling diminished or strapped. Others, who have more money than they could spend in three lifetimes, are miserable in retirement. What makes the difference in these lives? Apparently, money is not the determining factor. Something else is sustaining people in later life. What, exactly, is happening with people? Some poor and some rich are content. Why? Some poor and some rich are miserable. Why?

I have relatives who worked themselves to the bone so they could one day "retire" and finally be happy. I do not see a lot of contentment or happiness in these individuals but I do see a lot of anxiety about the stock market and their "nest egg". OTOH I have relatives and friends who have happily blasted thru life without a lot of anxiety about money. They may have fewer things but seem more content to me.

Totally off subject but....most seniors are working way past retirement age due to the cost of living, having spent a fortune sending kids through college. Today Masters degrees are in order, the work place is very competitive. The fear of failing health or a sick spouse is draining on the pocket book, although Medicare is a blessing. Travel has been the goal, but most have no one to travel with as the kids are gone and spouse is no longer up to it (if alive). Most are alone, or helping finance their Grandkid's, many who have moved back home. Playing the lottery seems like a glimmer of hope, someone has to win, why not me. Retirement is not what it seems to be, and being productive and needed is the answer. Everyone ignores seniors thinking it will rub off when many have a lot to offer, just nowhere to do it. I know very wealthy people and the saying "never enough" is true, money brings you comfort, while happiness and content comes from within. Better than having to literally "take care" of grandkid's, having your kids take care of their own is the true blessing, but Grandkid's are fun to play with and return at the end of the day to their own homes is the measure of success.
p.s making 60.00 per hour is a good thing especially when you make 60.00 every hour you work....kinda like winning the lottery, dream on folks.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2019 03:10PM by Irene_L.A..

I am going to try out this yellow rice recipe today, since I have all the ingredients.

@Irene_L.A. wrote:

What about cases where one can't get pregnant, do you consider that "robbing", or is it just life.

No, it's just life. Some people don't meet the right spouse until later, have life consequences, can't have children, or know they wouldn't be a good parent.

I'm talking about people who choose not to have children because they would interfere with their lifestyle. When a parent has several children, it's not a big deal; they'll be other grandchildren. I have friends, however, who have children who have just decided that their ski vacations and travel are more important to them and that too bad for all the sacrifices their parents made, they're not getting grandchildren.

Children are the responsibility; grandchildren are the reward.

An interesting site for you, Coffee: [overpopulationisamyth.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2019 01:47PM by iShop123.

Food for thought:
When a couple is not willing to sacrifice their vacations in order to start families, perhaps it is best that they don't have kids? Having taught thousands of kids for better than 20 years, I've seen the results of apathetic parents... Call them "selfish" or whatever, but maybe we should be thankful that they choose not to reproduce?

Children deserve to have parents who actually WANT children. There is NOTHING wrong with choosing not to have children because you feel that you are not able or ready to assume that awesome responsibility. Many who have no children ,by choice, love children. Maybe enough to know that they are not suited to raising them !! Frankly, imputing selfishness or laziness to those who elect not to have children is MOST revealing about the ones making the assumption.

Agreed. No one has a duty to have children. There are already so many unwanted ones adoption is a much better idea anyway.

This just may be a selfless choice, not a selfish one. I see on the news daily babies abused, put up for adoption, etc. I do respect all for their decision, however, I agree with Grandchildren being the icing on the cake, I don't have any and feel a bit of a void, but am proud (you all know) of my daughter's accomplishments and the amazing person she turned out to be, maybe this was her calling, to teach others, and reach "her" full potential.
My daughter works 40 to 60 hours a week with no family around, taking care of herself. She would not be able to do all required to give the best care to a baby, and I am against leaving a baby in a day care with strangers.
p.s. My daughter didn't meet the right one until this year, so she would like one, but timing proves otherwise...so, there are reasons some don't have kids....let's not be judgemental.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2019 03:49PM by Irene_L.A..

@iShop123 wrote:

I have friends, however, who have children who have just decided that their ski vacations and travel are more important to them and that too bad for all the sacrifices their parents made, they're not getting grandchildren.

It is perfectly within these children's rights to choose ski vacations and travel over having children. They don't by any means owe their parents grandchildren.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2019 03:06PM by jshoppermont.

Adding to my previous post... It's worth pointing out that there are perfectly legitimate reasons for a couple to choose not to have children, beyond "ski vacations."
* Finances; It often takes two working adults to keep a single roof over their heads. Kids are expensive and the cost of childcare can often be more than what either parent earns. It is common for a couple to find it financially unreasonable to start a family.
* Careers: Being effective parents is a huge time commitment. If two folks have careers that demand 60+ hours a week, one would likely have to cut back should they choose to have kids. Are we saying that folks are expected to give up careers to fulfill some unwritten duty to start families?
* Health: If one or both partners have health issues that demand time, increase fatigue, etc., adding children (which takes a ton of energy) might not be feasible.

I love being a grandfather and I absolutely adore my granddaughter. However, my son and his partner would not be able to effectively raise her without the support my wife and I provide (such as nearly full-time childcare while the parents work). They do not earn enough money to support a family and neither is finished with school. I very much respected (and agreed with!) their choice to not have kids. ("Maddie" was no planned...)

For whatever reason or reasons, some people have children and others do not. This is fine with me. What's not fine with me is the judgments. Over the years, I have heard nonsense. "You don't have kids yet? You must be doing it wrong!" "It's for the best." "Your time will come." "Considering your parents, you should not have children." "Considering your parents, you should have lots of children." "Why you got so many kids? Those are lots of mouths to feed!"

Anyway, I found a $60 per hour shop. I might add it to tomorrow. Or not. It is available every month, and it is okay for me to do it later. I did not find enough assignments to give me $60 per hour for multiple hours and multiple days.

My story for those who want to listen, I married at 28 and we waited a year trying to get his business off the ground, it took off and the journey begins.....I couldn't get pregnant, Dr. after Dr., five years worth, I finally found a Dr. that did surgery and wala, I got pregnant requiring complete bed rest. Thank G__ I didn't have to work, and after an extensive labor, and almost dying during childbirth (TMI), here she is, I would do it over. Every case is different, I'm sure many who you may think want to go skiing, have deeper personal reasons they're not talking about. Who really knows another's reasons, or maybe there just happy together...not a crime in my book. There may be regrets at the end for not choosing to have a family, but there life may have been fulfilled. I would never have had a kid if "we" couldn't afford to raise it, not my Mothers responsibility.

I found 2 $60 per hour shops. I added 2 hours to the drive so far by getting off the interstate and enjoying the country highways. Who cares. Had I not I'd be home cleaning bathrooms.

Searching high and low today for those 60.00 jobs, so far I've gotten five restaurants....there is a dealership for 40.00 and a 40 mile RT drive, so over it.

Usually this time of year, all of the seasonal businesses are opening up and that means a ton of shops that haven't been available for months. However, I've gone through dozens of job boards and am finding almost nothing worthwhile. I love living at the shore, but it's getting hard to find $16/hour, much less anything close to $60.

I really enjoy all of the varied opinions I get to see on this forum. Thanks to so many of you for sharing your thoughts on so many topics

These days I usually average between $30-$45 an hour doing large routes of compliance shops and gas stations. I have 130 shops lined up for the next 7 days.

There's been times when I've done 30-40 shops in day driving around for 10-13 hours. Nothing feels better then getting home and flopping after a 12 hour route. One of the reasons I love this job. Depending on the season and other commitments I could shop anywhere between 10-40 hours a week.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2019 05:06AM by Jbrz123.

@Jenny Cassada wrote:

I love living at the shore, but it's getting hard to find $16/hour, much less anything close to $60.

"At the shore," now I know you are in New Jersey, right..It's the shore in NJ, not the beach.

Exactly @MsJudi ! Up until I moved here, I went to the beach, now I live at the shore

There are lots of beaches around the world, but only one Shore!

@MsJudi wrote:

@Jenny Cassada wrote:

I love living at the shore, but it's getting hard to find $16/hour, much less anything close to $60.

"At the shore," now I know you are in New Jersey, right..It's the shore in NJ, not the beach.

I cannot imagine doing 130 shops.

Road Warrior, you!

I did 8 shops in May for one company, and maybe another dozen altogether.

But I sometimes drive over 100 miles just to get to ONE shop.

And you must have the skill/ability/equipment to do reports on the road?

@Jbrz123 wrote:

These days I usually average between $30-$45 an hour doing large routes of compliance shops and gas stations. I have 130 shops lined up for the next 7 days.

There's been times when I've done 30-40 shops in day driving around for 10-13 hours. Nothing feels better then getting home and flopping after a 12 hour route. One of the reasons I love this job. Depending on the season and other commitments I could shop anywhere between 10-40 hours a week.

When I'm in NJ, where I live, I go "down the shore." I just returned from visiting my sons in South Carolina and I went "to the beach" each day.

@myst4au wrote:

There are lots of beaches around the world, but only one Shore!

@MsJudi wrote:

@Jenny Cassada wrote:

I love living at the shore, but it's getting hard to find $16/hour, much less anything close to $60.

"At the shore," now I know you are in New Jersey, right..It's the shore in NJ, not the beach.