I have hesitated to share this, as it is very hurtful and personal. My family doesn't really support my "jobs." Though I have been shopping for at least 15 years and you would think that they would be on board by now. My husband calls them a waste of time and why don't I just get a real job. (Though we have two houses that we spend equal time in, hundreds of miles a part, so how that would work, I have no idea.) Since gas has gone up, it seems to be even worse. With our unique situation, I told him I looked at neighboring areas (within 150 miles each) and there were so many opportunities that I felt I could build a really great route shopping opportunity and he was not supportive of that. The way he presents Mystery shopping or the Merchandising work I do to family and friends, makes them "smile politely" or exchange glances and smirks. The friends don't really know about the Mystery shopping work to be clear, but they do know about the Merchandising I have done for years. I used to do that kind of work for a retail store, ordering, etc. so that is really "up my alley." I don't make a fortune at this, that is true, but I have done this to supplement our income when our kids were at home. It has afforded a lot of the extras. Now, the kids are both in college and this area has grown so much I want to really invest in it. I think it could be a great success with the growth capability and the fact I can literally shop 5 states within my area. What has been your experience? I am curious if this is just mine or if we all get those little smirks from people who do not know a thing about this type of work. Thanks for letting me vent. My plan is to be a RAGING success and then they will need to step it all back.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/28/2022 01:37PM by Shoptosay1.

Both friends and family are very supportive. Perhaps you could arrange to meet up with other MSers in your area for coffee and share support that way. You can use the forum to ask for any shoppers near you to PM you. Or plan to attend an IMSC conference!

My mom was fully on board, but my dad was not. He didn't think it was a "real" job, either. My husband is the one that got me into Mystery shopping, so he's definitely on board! I love that I can schedule work around when I want to work and I can take a trip to see my kids and grandkid any time I want. I often schedule work while I'm visiting my kids. Sometimes they're even lucky enough to accompany me on a dinner shop! Fortunately, I didn't care what my dad thought (he was really, really late to a Hooters shop and I never invited him again - his loss), but my mom loved to accompany me when she was able. We often did multi-day trips of gas shops and enjoyed ourselves immensely. She would never have made it to Quebec, Vermont, or upstate NY if she hadn't joined me on those trips. We traveled the outline of Michigan's Upper Peninsula more than once. She died last year and I miss her company on trips.

You know perhaps some "Conferences" etc. might help my husband understand this is not just a "hobby" to me. He doesn't handle the budget so he really has no idea how much this has always helped us out. Taxes? Same way, doesn't really take much notice to "my side" of things, except to say, he "has to pay taxes" on the money I make, further making it seem worthless. (And No, he doesn't, I make quarterly payments out of my earnings.) I know it seems like my husband is a jerk, and he isn't, generally speaking. Sigh. He is very loving in most areas, but for this one, nope. I have lost my temper over this, more than once, which doesn't foster communication. sigh.

I need to take on this attitude. A bit harder when it is your husband, but sometimes you must just do what you KNOW is the RIGHT THING, for your family. In the long run, this money is going to now be used for retirement investments. It sounds like you have a lot of experience at some WONDERFUL shops! I might need to drag him on some good restaurant shops and see if I can't change his mind.

My family really don't think much of it. Hubby doesn't really think it's worth it. I just do it, I'm not going to change what he thinks.

Supportive. I had been doing this part time with a normal full time job for a while. Due to factors not worth going into, I left that full time job with the intention of getting a new one but knowing I could fall back on shopping and do more of it while I looked for a new job.

Once doing this full time, going on some routes, I quickly realized how much money I could make, and my family began to see that too. (I don't have a lifestyle that requires me to make a killing), and most importantly it allowed me to be home more often instead of working some of the killer hours I had to deal with on the regular job.

I've now been doing this full time for six years, making more money than I was making with the full time job. Like the OP it helps that I live near two major metropolitan areas and well populated smaller cities to make this happen.

Thank you for the encouragement. I think the same thing, that I can make MORE money than I was making working other jobs, and I LIKE it much more. I also do a few other things (Merchandising, etc) so ALL of it combined, I am doing a lot better than I was working at one place as their merchandiser.

Yes, take him on a really good restaurant shop that he would thoroughly enjoy. That helped my hubby see the light after thinking this was not a "real job" for many years. He is much more encouraging these days.

I've mystery shopped off and on for years. Although now it is a solid side hustle, it has often been for the perks, and helped fund many weekend get-aways and meals out. My kids grew up with it. Of course, things are different when you focus on the perks. Once, I had to tell my daughter she could actually shop in a store that she really liked even though I didn't have an assignment there. My son is with me now. He will put in his order for which restaurant he likes best, and he is an awesome shopping partner. Years back, their dad and I divorced, of all the things he moaned and groaned about after the divorce, he really liked the way my mystery shopping worked out on the taxes. Even if you don't make a whole lot, it can contribute significantly to your quality of life. He gave it his best shot to get his new wife to do the same kind of work as me. You might guess how that worked out. Some folks don't realize a good thing until they lose it.

Not sure how much minds will change after 15 years, but never say never. All of my family and friends who know are supportive. Some have shared an experience with me such as a restaurant shop, purchasing something for them, but many have not. Sure there are taxes paid on income, but reimbursement is not (have you told him that ?) and there are write-offs from being self employed. Do what you like and what makes you happy !

To the original poster, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing a lack of support.

I'm fortunate. I had a HIDEOUS divorce in 2017. I got to keep the house, but my ex makes 3x what I make and I'm trying to keep a house going on roughly 1/4 of what our combined income was back then.

Enter mystery shopping, which I started shortly after my divorce. For a long time, the free restaurant food aspect was important to me because money was super tight even with my full-time day job. The grocery store shops really helped me out and continue to do so. Plus the jobs that are fee only, no purchase required.

My parents and sisters live across the country. But they -- and my therapist! -- think I am clever and resourceful to have found this fun and creative way to supplement my income. And friends tend to fascinated or amused by some of my mystery shopping anecdotes.

My family members who are not supportive of my mystery shopping tend to have other issues and I usually don't care what they think about mystery shopping. I don't have a spouse. If I had a spouse who dismissed mystery shopping, I might show him my mystery shopping bank account. That should change his mind.

I so much love this! I see myself as resourceful as well!

I thought about getting an account just for this. Maybe I will mystery shop for one! lol.

I have been ms'ing and merchandising since 1994. My husband was very supportive. After he passed away in 2003 one of my sister-in-laws told me that she had to help me get a job. I told her I already had a job and she knew it. She said that msing and merchandising wasn't a real job, I told her that working 50 - 70 hours a week wasn't a real job,then what was it. Her answer was I thought you just did it for fun. But I guess that many hours qualify as a real job.

I am only supported if I get the "win" asking for bonuses. So know you're not alone when it comes to negativity with regard to how you earn money.
I've learned to keep the specifics to myself about where I'm going or how much I'm being paid. They can't ridicule what they don't know about.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2022 02:36AM by DiannaL.

My family was supportive, but skeptical at first. So was I, to be honest. Once the checks cleared the bank, however, the skepticism went away. Now its viewed as a job just like any other.

I've been mystery shopping since 2014-always part time. Hubby has always been on board. When he retired a year ago I decided to step back a little bit myself. Now I only do shops that really interest me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2022 02:15PM by KathyG.

My family loves my MSing and are amused and incredulous at my success albeit just for lifestyle/perks when I am up for it. You have shared that you make quarterly estimated taxes on your earnings as well as using your MSC money towards retirement and investment savings? Forgive me if I don't recall accurately as I did not go back to re read your OP. If that is the case, I cannot understand why your DH does not take your MSIng seriously. Point that out to him.

I'm sorry your job isn't taken seriously. But it's not just mystery shopping. I've found over the years that many people don't think we self-employed, single-proprietor, single-employee businesspeople have "real jobs." I'm fortunate that my family has always supported my self-employment, including MS'ing. (Except during some lean years when my husband was less than enthusiastic about my other freelance work, but, fortunately, those never lasted too long.) In fact, when I first started mystery shopping I did a lot of casual dining shops and family-entertainment shops, so they felt part of it all along and are a great help to me on those shops. Initially they thought of this as a way to do some things we ordinarily wouldn't have because of the reimbursement. But now that I do more fee-based shops and have learned to only take shops that are worthwhile (say, instead of $12 cell-phone shops), they're actually impressed that I can, for example, make $85 or $90 just by opening a bank account, for which my outlay of time is usually around two hours--between the in-person visit and the report.

You might want to share, generically, some of the success stories of people here. Or point out to him when you did a job that pays extremely well for the amount of time you put in. "See, I can make more money doing this than I can working your 'real' job scenario." I still point out from time to time to my husband when I've finished a particularly lucrative job. I figure it's good he's reminded that he's not the only one who makes money to pay the bills!

I appreciate you! Your hubby might not be able to do that. i have one of those. As he ages, he is less and less able to see beyond himself. More narcissistic? Anyway, I have learned that I will never "win" an argument, persuade, or convince him. He is not moveable beyond what he chooses to deal with now.

So.

Please come here often and get kudos from us.

Kudos to the OP! Kudos to the OP! Kudos to the OP!

Huzzaah!

I have decided to start announcing a monthly update! I think he is uninformed about what good it does, as I don't really go into it that much. He has always been the main breadwinner and views my job as more of a hobby. To be fair he has never, not once, asked me for any of the money or shown interest in it. I deposit in the joint checking account but have never said I just put in x amount of dollars today. I don't know why I haven't and maybe that is why he doesn't think I make anything. lol.

Yes, I have told him that I just made $60 for 45 minutes, or when I make $100 on one shop, now and then. I do other things besides mystery shopping, and I think I am going to start leaving adding it all up. I do keep track of it, just not all in the same place. He might be surprised to know, lol. Of course, it goes two ways I guess. There are many times I could make more and Don't take the job. The last thing I want is him asking when my next "job" is. lol.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2022 05:03AM by Shoptosay1.

I handle the household finances but I give my husband a monthly recap so he can see that we are always in the positive column and that each month the amount increases, because of the mystery shop jobs. I have been doing MS since 2008 during the Great Recession of 2008 to supplement our household income and expenses (think: shops for supermarkets, convenience stores, gas stations). Then along came post office jobs and he could see that items bought at a supermarket MS could be mailed to his parents by a MS and all would be reimbursed AND income would be earned while helping his parents who were living on Social Security alone. Coffee, detergent, toiletries, snacks, canned meats, etc. help to stretch their limited budget without putting a dent into ours. Now, it's dinners out together for which I am reimbursed AND last year, when American Express was offering a $15 credit on the first restaurant purchase each month for the year, our coffers increased more. He has never complained because he sees the benefits as it affects him and our household. My suggestion to the OP is to keep him abreast of the value. For taxes, I have to keep a spreadsheet that tallies fees earned, outlay of expenses, reimbursed expenses, mileage, etc. At end of year with our accountant, he sees again the amount that I have earned, the amount of expenses that were reimbursed, and all of the deduction taken (utilities, internet, phone, insurance, etc.) since my office to accomplish my mystery shopping is in our home and has a physical square footage. It's a win all around and he values that.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2022 03:12PM by Susan L..

I think you might have touched on something here. I do not take the deductions. If I expect him to treat this as a "real job" perhaps it is time I do as well! I pay taxes on my earnings, but the only thing I have ever taken is the reimbursement amounts. I have been thinking of turning everything over to an accountant because the taxes keep getting more complicated with investments and 1099s and kids in college. It might be time to utilize a professional instead of going it alone.

Oh, dear. People often don't claim all income or deductions on self-employment income, but that's self-defeating. I've been in business for myself for decades, in one capacity or another, and in many years my losses have offset our tax burden, sometimes significantly. But by "losses," I mean after taking all legitimate expenses, including home-office space, computer and cameras, cell phone, mileage; office supplies and furniture, etc. That doesn't mean I actually lost money, but after all the typical deductions, if I show a profit, I can then deduct utilities in proportion to the space of my home office and inventory area. That takes my net profit down even more. (You can deduct the amount of square footage in your home office, assuming it's not used for anything else, yearly, but not utilities unless you show a profit against which to claim them.)

You don't need an accountant to simply do your daily bookkeeping; that's the easy part. But, contrary to what many SE people do, I have a professional tax preparer do our taxes. Would never even think of doing them myself. He knows what I can deduct and what I can't, when I should depreciate equipment and when I should take it all in one year, etc. Out of a 2670 s.f. house, I take almost 15% of that as a deduction.

Even in years when you show a profit, the tax isn't really much, and the benefits of claiming all income and expenses generally will pay off over the long run.

It is a real job. You are probably missing out on huge deductions every year. Over decades of doing this, my mileage expenses themselves account for about 1/3 of my revenue. Suppose your revenue is $10,000. Then $3,333 would be mileage expenses. Even if you are in the 10% marginal tax bracket, that would save you $333.33, so I guess that you really don't need an extra $333.33. If you are in the 25% marginal tax bracket, that WASTED income is $833.33. How many mystery shops do you have to do EXTRA in order to make up for the $833.33 that you are (apparently) happily giving the to IRS? And that does not even take into account andy state income tax. All of this is easily handled in TurboTax.

@Shoptosay1 wrote:

I think you might have touched on something here. I do not take the deductions. If I expect him to treat this as a "real job" perhaps it is time I do as well! I pay taxes on my earnings, but the only thing I have ever taken is the reimbursement amounts. I have been thinking of turning everything over to an accountant because the taxes keep getting more complicated with investments and 1099s and kids in college. It might be time to utilize a professional instead of going it alone.

Can you count mileage from your front door or do you have to go to the first location and then count mileage? I have been confused by that I guess and never wanted to "cheat" anyone. And NO, I don't want to give the government ANY money LOL.