Setting: After dark, mystery/reveal audits.
Station 1.
Me: Walking to my car after taking all photos.
Voice behind me: “Excuse me!”
Me: Keep walking, don’t turn around.
Voice: “EXCUSE ME!!!”
Me: turning silently toward the voice which belongs to a lady in a van.
Van Lady, accusingly: “Is there a reason you’re taking pictures of everything???”
Me: “Yes.” Calmly turn to resume walking.
Van Lady, nearing hysteria: “Excuse me! WHY are you taking PICTURES???”
Me, matter-of-factly: “It’s my job.” Walk to car, get in and beat it out of there as fast as possible.
Van Lady: Stomps into store.
Station 2.
Me: sitting in my car, taking notes after all assessments and pics have been done. There is a knock on the window. I turn to look. I am blinded by bright light as a lady takes an up-close picture of my face through the glass with her cell phone and flash. Like the true detective she must think herself to be, she shouts through the glass.
Camera Lady, indignantly: Who ARE you?”
Me: Reach for an LOA with the station’s logo on it. Hold it up to the window with a glare of mild contempt for the rudeness that had just been bestowed on me.
Camera Lady, after seeing the logo: Big fake smile and a thumbs-up.
Me: Resume taking notes. Resist desire to open the window and slap the taste out of her mouth.
Also Me: Probably all over Camera Lady’s Facebook page now.
Station 3.
Me: Pumping my gas while a loud, deep-voiced woman is bellowing at the store entrance. With her is a huge-ass dog on a leash, just shy of great dane size.
Dog Lady: “NO! I don’t want those f***ing chips! I told you! The other kind! Are you f***ing STUPID?” This goes on and on.
Me: Pull to a parking spot and go to the store entrance. Now there is a girl of about 8 years holding the dog’s leash. Dog Lady is in the store. Dog wants to join her. Kid cannot make dog sit. Dog Lady yells at kid from inside store. A lot. Kid cannot control dog. Kid hits dog. Dog Lady FLIES out of the store and starts wailing on kid. Slapping, punching and hollering. They leave on foot.
The End
These have been true stories which all happened during the same night. I just had to share with those who can understand. Thank you for reading! Anybody else?