@mlzg,
I'm so sorry to hear about that. And I know what you went through. I was kicked out as a teenager, too. I was kicked out by my dad for reporting his abuse. I lived in a stairwell for a long time. I stole food and toilet paper for a while, until a kind woman came and got me into a shelter for abused women. By the time she found me, I was very sick, and she also took me to the doctor. I never got a doctor bill or a bill for the medications...either she paid for it out of her pocket or she had some organization that I don't know about pay for it. When my time there ran out, she helped me move into an apartment that was income based. My only piece of furniture was an old cot and a blanket. I went to high school in the mornings, on the bus with all the elementary kids because I couldn't afford a car and it was pretty far to walk, and walked from high school to a restaurant where I worked from about noon to about midnight. (guidance counselor in HS "emancipated" me so I didn't have to go to school all day) I would then walk back to my apartment late at night. NOTE: I lived in a very small mountain town with no soup kitchens, etc. and I was just a kid anyway, so I would not have known about resources that might have been available. Thank God for the kind woman who searched for me until she found me and got me into a place where I could survive.
And then got a job as a manager at a restaurant. Saw first hand what other managers did. Saw how they were not trained or equipped to handle some things. Was so thankful to my boss for the job that I DID protect his profits.
Went on to own a franchise myself for a long time....@CANADAMOMMY. Knew what my managers were up to and what they were "getting away with" or what "infractions" I would allow them to "get away with." Still own quite a bit of property and have had property managers in the past. Same situations apply: property managers don't take care of my bottom line as well as *I* take care of my own bottom line; so I do the managing myself now.
Which is why I know it's not worth it to get the cops involved for someone to get soda in their water cups. Often those people were put on a "watch list," or whatever. Sometimes they were asked to pay for the soda, but never harassed about it. Sometimes when they came in the next time, they were told at the register that they needed to pay for "a" soda in a polite but firm way. But in a business establishment, you don't want to make a big stink in front of other customers or have a customer start yelling at you because they are caught red handed, are embarrassed and on the defensive. That just makes all the other customers uncomfortable; and owners plan for a certain amount of "loss," which comes in many many forms (employees being lazy is a loss; employees not clocking out when they are finished working to "milk the clock," employees eating more than the allotment, employees breaking things, customers complaining about some obscure infraction to the point of getting a free meal, customers clogging toilets....etc etc)
IDK why some people think they "know it all." without knowing backstories, or without talking to someone and finding out their solutions in a more detailed format than this forum *usually* allows for. I tried to explain some reasoning in my first post. Apparently not well enough. So here ^^^^ is some more reasoning. I can go further, even, but it's becoming quite the long post already.
I agree: theft is theft. A lot of what one does about it depends on the type/amount of theft and also on the establishment itself.