I started this off as a comment to another post about the stupid 5G survey, but it got out of hand and now I think it just deserves a post of it's own.

I got a single burger (all I can afford even with a $17 budget - prices are absolutely as insane as the internet says), and the thing left a puddle as I ate. On the survey I said called the bun 'soggy' and it responds 'oh, but did you order mushrooms or onions?' Now WTF does ONIONS have to do with anything?? Why doesn't it ask: 'did you order mustard or ketchup or pickles?' because THAT would at least make some sense - ketchup and mustard and A1 etc are mostly liquid, but ONIONS? Also, even if you DO order ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions and mushrooms, that shouldn't give 5G the right to present you with a burger you could squeeze juice and fill a cup from. THIS BURGER COSTS $7.59 FOR F****-SAKES! It costs the same as a combo anywhere else, and it's too much to ask that it doesn't piss and squirt all over the wrapping while you try to eat it? Jes*** Chr***!

And when they say 'would you recommend', like are you freaking kidding? I wouldn't recommend my worst enemy spend $16 ($20 if a 'normal' burger) on a combo meal, but of course we aren't allowed to take cost into account and give 5G some actual truth - oh no, that would be WAY too painful to hear. It's like: why, 5G, why do you even BOTHER with paying for these stupid evaluations, when it's so obvious that you don't really want to hear anything useful or constructive. Consider:
1) The survey can be finished in 5 minutes if you just fly through the boxes and say everything is great - they incentivize dishonesty;
2) If you DO take the time to actually give some honest feedback, the survey doesn't even want to hear it. Soggy bun? Well you ordered dry onions as a topping, so you should EXPECT to bathe in burger slop.
3) You can't say it's 'poor value', because that's not a criterion for evaluation. Oh, but they phrase the question 'if applying only 5G standards, THEN would you recommend to your friends' [head explodes]. Well, then gee, shucks, I guess if I'm only allowed to use YOUR standards: outrageous price, dripping so much I have to eat in the bathtub, well then I guess SURE I recommend it to all my BFFs.

Basically: Five Guys, if you ever read this, stop wasting your freaking money on BS mystery shops and just LOWER YOUR FREAKING PRICES. Or go on this thing called 'the internet', or even turn on a radio or read a newspaper. Just: get some sense!

PS: this post is more valuable to 5G than the dozens (hundreds?) of surveys I've obediently done for 5G. Stupid imbeciles.

Ehhh 5 guy shops are cool. I always lol when they question about the toasted buns (hint, they're never). I'm just frustrated at the saps talking them for minimum fees all of a sudden when just last couple of months I've been doing them for 3-4x the initial.

My last 5 Guys the bag they handed the order to me was so wet with grease that the bag as tearing apart. I had to go back and ask for another bag as the first one was disgusting. They stick the burger on the bottom so you have to dig into a bag that falls apart to get to fries which go all over the table. Not a fan of their food 4.69 for regular size fries when potatoes are dirt chap is a rip off. I Pick them up when they are close and bonused otherwise forget it.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/28/2024 07:34PM by SueW70.

I am honest but I only give the minimum required in the reports and don't think too hard about it....I am convinced they just want to be told how great they are - so I do that and after 7 years of 5G, only came across one bad experience.

A + rant, would read again.

It's like any place that is a franchise. There are good locations and bad. I do not do 5G shops because I know someone who is invested in a 5G franchise. That particular restaurant is excellent. I know others that are complete garbage. What's unfortunate is that shoppers, apparently, have no way to communicate this.

All Five?

-politely golf claps to non sequitur's post-

100% they only want you to say everything was "excellent." Try and select boxes that aren't and.... -buzzer sound- "Are you SURE your food wasn't EXCELLENT?"

I've reached the point where I consider this a discounted meal and almost phone them in because the MSC doesn't want us saying anything negative (truthful) about the half-dozen men. When it's excellent, I'll report it as such, but unless you were there looking over my shoulder, stop trying to tell me how my report should read.

Wankers.

FWIW, the onions are grilled. So if they are extra greasy they could contribute to bun sogginess.

I'm just recently back in the fold with the MSC after being banned for a late report in 2007.

I'll look forward to these shops when I can fit their narrow scheduling windows. I would frequently eat at 5G on my own dime, so getting paid and reimbursed is a plus. I just have to discipline myself (Type II diabetes, well-managed) to only eat a few fries and toss the rest. A healthy scoop of peanuts has always been my side of choice there.

While the burgers and fries are pricey, they are a quality product, and all those burger toppings don't cost extra.

Just gimme a Little Cheeseburger All The Way No Ketchup No Lettuce Add Hot Sauce and I'm a happy camper.

I have two five guys that I hit regularly once they’re up to $15 because I plan for them around my job and volunteer work (right next to them). There are a few more in the area I’ll similarly grab if I’m already going to be in the neighborhood (stacking shops) although just in the past week I grabbed my “regulars” for $36 and $40 (yay for flaking). Four are consistently really good. A couple others are is myeh (food quality/service is fine, but nothing soecial, and there’s usually some infraction). The last is usually good food wise, but service is a total wild card. What frustrates me is I get 300 characters to explain when there are problems. The last one I did, I had to omit a couple things in comments because there literally wasn’t enough room to describe all the issues w/o changing 2 txt msg ✍️

PS In all my shops, I have never gotten a *non*-toasted bun.

Just an FYI, I've never had a bun that wasn't lightly toasted. They are always toasted. Look around the edges. It's not like putting them on your backyard grill, but they're always toasted. Surprisingly around here, I can get a little cheeseburger, little fries and drink and be under reimbursement. A double cheeseburger would put me over by a few cents. I've done three this week..$22, $25, and one off the board at $40. I'd better remember my statin!

I've also reported some bad conditions...lights out, tables dirty, floor sticky, crew member's pants down around his butt...never a problem...but no they don't want to hear about those soggy buns...lol

I do think they are overpriced and wouldn't eat there without a shop. I've found other burger places I like better.

Yeah soggy buns who wants to hear about them?? lol

From what MsJudi’s seen, it’s more like saggy buns. -lol- Geez.

The problem with the people whining about the cost is...they are not the target clientele for this business model to begin with. It would be like whining about Capital Grille or Ruth's Chris Steakhouse prices when you have Black Angus or Texas Roadhouse budget.

I agree that 5g is more than what I'm willing to spend on a burger with my own money. I don't hold it against them that they charge what they do. If it did not work, they would lower prices or go out of business. Obviously they are not doing either, so there are enough people willing to spend $$$ for their food.

I'm not saying that you cannot complain about soggy bun or greasy fries...but many on this forum whine about their prices. It is not your money that you are spending to do the shop, so why whine about it? Yes, you are spending your own money (upfront), but if you do the shop correctly, you are being reimbursed for nearly all of it.

When I go, I get what I want. I don't care if it costs me $3-4 of my shop fee. I'm not doing the $9 shop fees to begin with. I'm picking them up at $20 minimum. So what is better? Getting cheapest thing and making $20 or getting what you want and making $15-$16? I will take the latter.

@drdoggie00 wrote:

-politely golf claps to non sequitur's post-

100% they only want you to say everything was "excellent." Try and select boxes that aren't and.... -buzzer sound- "Are you SURE your food wasn't EXCELLENT?"

I've reached the point where I consider this a discounted meal and almost phone them in because the MSC doesn't want us saying anything negative (truthful) about the half-dozen men. When it's excellent, I'll report it as such, but unless you were there looking over my shoulder, stop trying to tell me how my report should read.

Wankers.

So true. I also like that you're not supposed to point out that one of the two freestyle machines was out of order. To me, having only one of two working is kind of shabby but OK.

I also like that if someone drops their drawers and takes a dump on a table in one corner of the dining room while you're walking in, and someone finally cleans it up a minute before you leave 40 minutes later, it can't be reported because it was "addressed" while you were there.

"If there were more two customers in line at any time, and a second register wasn't opened, was it not opened because of social distancing?" lolwut. It's 2024. (Edit: This question made no sense even during the pandemic. How could you tell why they didn't open a second register? Did they tell you, "Yeah we'd like to open a second register, but Covid." )

Were the employees "genuinely happy?" Doesn't seem like a job that fosters happiness but I'll play. What does "genuinely" imply? Do I need to make sure they're not being upbeat just to fool me?

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2024 12:16AM by KokoBWare.

So true on the freestyle machine. Reminds me of an actual legit constructive criticism I could’ve given (if the survey was designed properly) which is: the machine has a “caffeine free” button, and when you hit that it still lists Barq’s root beer, which I recently found out is NOT caffeine free. With the recent deaths from caffeine overdose at Panera, this is actually worth addressing. also: why NOT have a caffeine free root beer? 5 stupid guys I tell ya.

If you don't like the food and don't like the MS report, why do you do these shops?

It can't be to get rich. Certainly not in my area.

I usually get grilled onions and mayo as "wet" toppings, but even then, the bun generally holds up pretty well. I don't recall seeing any puddles under my burger. Plus you have to admit that sometimes a messy burger is the best kind of burger!

Remember we are being asked to give ratings according to the Five Guys standards. They make it especially clear that the fries are not meant to be crispy, but they can still have a slightly firm outside and a mashed potato-like inside. When done right, they really are a treat.

I generally find myself saying the same thing in most of my reports because they really do have higher standards. But when they mess up (especially with the fries), I make sure to let them know. Tonight is a perfect example where I got barely a scoop of fries, and they were overdone with the larger pieces being dry and the smaller ones a bit crunchy from the skins being burnt. I would have returned them if I was a regular customer.

The price isn't *that* bad if you compare the size of a proper order to something from Red Robin or another chain. I wouldn't go there much if I wasn't a shopper, but if I ever did, at least I know to get a "little" sized burger, split an order of fries with someone, and get water. That's a slightly better value.

@non sequitur wrote:

So true on the freestyle machine. Reminds me of an actual legit constructive criticism I could’ve given (if the survey was designed properly) which is: the machine has a “caffeine free” button, and when you hit that it still lists Barq’s root beer, which I recently found out is NOT caffeine free. With the recent deaths from caffeine overdose at Panera, this is actually worth addressing. also: why NOT have a caffeine free root beer? 5 stupid guys I tell ya.

Yes, I wish they had a place to provide specific ratings on the drinks. Those Freestyle machines can still be hit or miss, and for quite some time I found certain locations had really horrible Diet Coke. It's been much better as of late thankfully. But earlier on it was so bad I actually contacted corporate separately about it once posing as a regular shopper just to get their attention.

I think being worried about onions on a soggy bun is about grilled onions, not raw onions. unless they soak the onions after they cut them for some reason? Mushrooms are cooked and icky and slimey, they definitely will make a bun soggy. I personally would have asked to have my burger remade if the bun was that awful.

FWIW you can definitely leave feedback in the comments about things that are taken care of during your shop. Whether they read it or not is a different matter.

Maybe if they stopped putting half a pound of salt on the fries and filling half the cup and bottom of the bag with inedible, hard, nibs, they could afford to lower the prices of the fries at least!

@non sequitur wrote:

I started this off as a comment to another post about the stupid 5G survey, but it got out of hand and now I think it just deserves a post of it's own.

I got a single burger (all I can afford even with a $17 budget - prices are absolutely as insane as the internet says), and the thing left a puddle as I ate. On the survey I said called the bun 'soggy' and it responds 'oh, but did you order mushrooms or onions?' Now WTF does ONIONS have to do with anything?? Why doesn't it ask: 'did you order mustard or ketchup or pickles?' because THAT would at least make some sense - ketchup and mustard and A1 etc are mostly liquid, but ONIONS? Also, even if you DO order ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions and mushrooms, that shouldn't give 5G the right to present you with a burger you could squeeze juice and fill a cup from. THIS BURGER COSTS $7.59 FOR F****-SAKES! It costs the same as a combo anywhere else, and it's too much to ask that it doesn't piss and squirt all over the wrapping while you try to eat it? Jes*** Chr***!

And when they say 'would you recommend', like are you freaking kidding? I wouldn't recommend my worst enemy spend $16 ($20 if a 'normal' burger) on a combo meal, but of course we aren't allowed to take cost into account and give 5G some actual truth - oh no, that would be WAY too painful to hear. It's like: why, 5G, why do you even BOTHER with paying for these stupid evaluations, when it's so obvious that you don't really want to hear anything useful or constructive. Consider:
1) The survey can be finished in 5 minutes if you just fly through the boxes and say everything is great - they incentivize dishonesty;
2) If you DO take the time to actually give some honest feedback, the survey doesn't even want to hear it. Soggy bun? Well you ordered dry onions as a topping, so you should EXPECT to bathe in burger slop.
3) You can't say it's 'poor value', because that's not a criterion for evaluation. Oh, but they phrase the question 'if applying only 5G standards, THEN would you recommend to your friends' [head explodes]. Well, then gee, shucks, I guess if I'm only allowed to use YOUR standards: outrageous price, dripping so much I have to eat in the bathtub, well then I guess SURE I recommend it to all my BFFs.

Basically: Five Guys, if you ever read this, stop wasting your freaking money on BS mystery shops and just LOWER YOUR FREAKING PRICES. Or go on this thing called 'the internet', or even turn on a radio or read a newspaper. Just: get some sense!

PS: this post is more valuable to 5G than the dozens (hundreds?) of surveys I've obediently done for 5G. Stupid imbeciles.

I actually love 5 guys burgers! Leave em on, and I'll do them all!! hahaha.

My wife used to complain about Five Guys burgers being greasy. She stopped ordering it with grilled onions, end of problem. I agree it's stupid for them to not let you complain about it being soggy, but the form is designed to prevent negative comments where there is a plausible excuse.

The post isn’t about Five Guys food, it’s about the survey and the whole mystery shop design being inane, pointless, and costing money better used toward lowering sky-high prices.

During the first few years of Covid I had a nice string of $35-$85 Five Guys locations. I was doing at least four of them a week. This year I’ve done exactly two, and I’m fine with that — the best advice I got on this forum was not to put all my eggs in one basket, and we’ve both moved on. I’ve noticed that doing so many Five Guys shops made me sick of fries. I never get them anywhere now, which is certainly a good thing for my health.

@NinS wrote:

During the first few years of Covid I had a nice string of $35-$85 Five Guys locations. I was doing at least four of them a week. This year I’ve done exactly two, and I’m fine with that — the best advice I got on this forum was not to put all my eggs in one basket, and we’ve both moved on. I’ve noticed that doing so many Five Guys shops made me sick of fries. I never get them anywhere now, which is certainly a good thing for my health.

$85? Wow. I've never topped $50, and I only got that because they were way behind on one location, and let me do three out of rotation at $50 each to catch them up.

I never understood why we have to explain why the crew members weren’t “highly enthusiastic.” I worked at McD’s, Wendy’s and Arby’s during college. I would never have considered myself highly enthusiastic. Hard-working, professional, polite, attentive…yes. But I guess unless I was singing and had a smile plastered on my face the entire shift, I would’ve failed the shop. It’s ridiculous to think a crew of underpaid burger-flippers working in a fast-paced environment should be enthusiastic at all times.

Why ms them of you hate them so much and it causes you such stress? Also in regards to the fries being an "expensive" $ 4.69, McDs large fries are $ 4.19 and are a fraction of the amount of potatoes. Smh. You must not eat out much.

Five guys has the blandest burgers ive ever had. They're like the subway of burger shops, no matter ehat combination of toppings you get all of the burgers taste the same. How they remain in business with their mediocre food and insane prices baffles me.