I started this off as a comment to another post about the stupid 5G survey, but it got out of hand and now I think it just deserves a post of it's own.
I got a single burger (all I can afford even with a $17 budget - prices are absolutely as insane as the internet says), and the thing left a puddle as I ate. On the survey I said called the bun 'soggy' and it responds 'oh, but did you order mushrooms or onions?' Now WTF does ONIONS have to do with anything?? Why doesn't it ask: 'did you order mustard or ketchup or pickles?' because THAT would at least make some sense - ketchup and mustard and A1 etc are mostly liquid, but ONIONS? Also, even if you DO order ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions and mushrooms, that shouldn't give 5G the right to present you with a burger you could squeeze juice and fill a cup from. THIS BURGER COSTS $7.59 FOR F****-SAKES! It costs the same as a combo anywhere else, and it's too much to ask that it doesn't piss and squirt all over the wrapping while you try to eat it? Jes*** Chr***!
And when they say 'would you recommend', like are you freaking kidding? I wouldn't recommend my worst enemy spend $16 ($20 if a 'normal' burger) on a combo meal, but of course we aren't allowed to take cost into account and give 5G some actual truth - oh no, that would be WAY too painful to hear. It's like: why, 5G, why do you even BOTHER with paying for these stupid evaluations, when it's so obvious that you don't really want to hear anything useful or constructive. Consider:
1) The survey can be finished in 5 minutes if you just fly through the boxes and say everything is great - they incentivize dishonesty;
2) If you DO take the time to actually give some honest feedback, the survey doesn't even want to hear it. Soggy bun? Well you ordered dry onions as a topping, so you should EXPECT to bathe in burger slop.
3) You can't say it's 'poor value', because that's not a criterion for evaluation. Oh, but they phrase the question 'if applying only 5G standards, THEN would you recommend to your friends' [head explodes]. Well, then gee, shucks, I guess if I'm only allowed to use YOUR standards: outrageous price, dripping so much I have to eat in the bathtub, well then I guess SURE I recommend it to all my BFFs.
Basically: Five Guys, if you ever read this, stop wasting your freaking money on BS mystery shops and just LOWER YOUR FREAKING PRICES. Or go on this thing called 'the internet', or even turn on a radio or read a newspaper. Just: get some sense!
PS: this post is more valuable to 5G than the dozens (hundreds?) of surveys I've obediently done for 5G. Stupid imbeciles.