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"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
Shop et-al, you realize that you are funneling money to scamtress by enabling your husband? It won't end until you end it. Scamtress is getting paid and your husband has a free ride with you. They aren't putting the brakes on.

"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
Yes. There is no way to control them. Even if hubby were placed under my supervision or whatever would happen with POA, he would always want what he wants, hate what he hates, and be a stinker about this. Think the official term for that is unmanageable. He is not obliged to be reasonable or work collaboratively. It would merely be wonderful to have such a soul here who could be capable of that more enjoyable working relationship. Before I utilize the legal system which would likely put me in charge, I am going to try this for a few weeks: I am going to work more at my jobs and delegate more house tasks to hubby. This costs less than hiring a housecleaning service. In addition, I will be paid directly and timely for my efforts. I control that and soon can be free to allow hubby to suffer natural and logical consequences if he runs out of money. The key to the closest thing to control here is to wean from funding his job and let him experience more and more what it is like when a job pays for itself. If he does not change how he spends money, he will run out of money that should pay for fuel for his job. With no money to fill the gas tank for his job, he might have to give up the job. I have ton remember that because I demanded a change in how we work this early work, I did cause a change in how expenses are incurred. If someone does not pay for the fuel between his paychecks, the job is dead for hubby. I am the one who had had enough of hubby falling on ice; he had to be on that ice because it was demanded for certain routes. In changing the routes to ones which allowed us to make deliveries from within the car, I also added to the cost of doing this job. Even so, he could make a decision to prioritize job expenses over little girlfriend.

The way we now do this early job is inordinately expensive, as it involves at least 68 miles per day in this area. It is wonderful at tax time but a hassle for a guy who wants to give everything to his little girlfriend. Alas. But he can choose to let his job pay for itself or pay his little girlfriend and discover how difficult/impossible it will be to pay little girlfriend as well as the costs of doing business. Another person who has this early job thinks of her work in this way: she is working to pay off two family members' vehicle loans and then quitting and entering more fully into retirement. Another observer stopped just short of glaring at me when they proclaimed, quite indignantly, that they would never expect their family member to pay them for helping with a job. As far as I know, they have not done any version of the early job for days, months, or years. They might not know how variable the money works out for various people who do this early job in different configurations of routes. But neither commentator is wrong or right. They know what they are doing or what they would be likely to do. Most people who do this job do not have the gas/mileage factor and they prefer addresses that are close together and in town . This method of works well for them, but we stopped that after too many falls on ice.

If we blend the two mentioned approaches to this work together and consider that I am still alive, we might ge this odd potential solution. if this does not kill me, I can let it make me stronger. I can let hubby make his choices and choose to do my own thing. It will never be perfect, but this will be better for me. Because hubby is never satisfied with anything, ever, he will not like what comes next. If this works well, I will experience money coming in and will not expend any of it for legal services.




@HonnyBrown wrote:

Shop et-al, you realize that you are funneling money to scamtress by enabling your husband? It won't end until you end it. Scamtress is getting paid and your husband has a free ride with you. They aren't putting the brakes on.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
Well okay! I LIKE this!!!

@Shop-et-al wrote:

Because hubby is never satisfied with anything, ever, he will not like what comes next. If this works well, I will experience money coming in and will not expend any of it for legal services.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

Shop et-al, you realize that you are funneling money to scamtress by enabling your husband? It won't end until you end it. Scamtress is getting paid and your husband has a free ride with you. They aren't putting the brakes on.

"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
Planning a big 4th of July pool party/BBQ. Family and some good friends. Went to the town's outdoor concert today. Great band and wonderful music. Mom and DD's had a lot laughs. I was beside myself with the friendly people sitting nearby. Too funny! Hope you all had a great day.
Today, delved deep into The Circulatory System with my daughter. I am enjoying Science like nobody's business! Talked to mum for an hour. Lovely walk at the Forest Park, saw a deer, and the sunset. The little things in life that can turn a frown upside down.
On "nature break" from early job and will get out there again in a few minutes. Eager to learn more about Britney Spears. She has issued a wake-up call to the legal system and to other unaware control freaks and those they suppress, oppress, and depress. I am hoping that Britney will indeed be set free, as her vocal fans want her to be. I also want tptb to re-think the concepts of agency, entity, assistance, accountability, freedom, rights, control, over-control, interdependence, dependence, co-dependence, something like Stockholm Syndrome, and every other thing that is directly and.or indirectly associated with the current conservatorship/guardianship system. It will then be time to craft and implement new parameters for conservatorship and guardianship which should demonstrate awareness of and support for humanity and human rights. This new system should route people to things like "co-dependent no more" and other ways of coping with the people and problems of life and away from legally binding and absurdly restrictive constructs and contracts. You go, Britney!

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
Pondering...the math and science I have learned, and served me well. Learning that to work for others directly I would reap a small paycheck. But that if I invested what I earned and learned into the US stock market, which is a collection of businesses, I could slowly reap the rewards of many, many businesses. Why don't many others understand this I wonder. What DO people believe? Ah, the psychological component...

It impacts our lives more than I ever thought when I was younger. From the type of individual who raised you, to your teachers, your friends, your managers, coworkers and the person you will likely spend the most of your life with...your spouse.

Pick them all very carefully. Your mental health depends on it. As well as your personal finances.
Have you read the list of ways that conservators can squelch lives?! There are only a few circumstances and a few persons for whom such draconian measures might be considered for at least a moment. The foundation and usage of conservatorships must now be changed for people such as Britney Spears and others who are at the mercy of the sorts of souls who are smart of enough to get themselves appointed but might not be not insightful enough to learn how to leave the role or to avoid it altogether. This, of course, requires nothing less than a sea change and a large dose or three of re-education. But hope springeth eternal and I hope that Britney will be sprung and live freely in the ways that suit her and that she determines for herself. She is beginning to tell her story, and everyone should be listening, Some people already understand why this is important. But others who need to know might be the most difficult to reach. These who do not yet know can be positioned to do incalculable harm with the full support of legally sanctioned behaviors which should be torts! Who has what it takes to dissect the current conservatorship and guardianship system and make needed changes? Whoever they are, they are bright, brave, and needed now.

Speaking of a sea change, haha...

So now that I have had my little personal/political rave for the day and a wee nap, I am happy to report that I can once again fit into jeans that used to fit and then were too tight for awhile. One of my recent bold & brave moves was to throw off an old paradigm and take a holistic view of my weight. This approach is effective for whatever reason or reasons. Onward through this size and down to the next smaller one... smiling smiley

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
Vaccine Pt. 2

"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
Right now, hubby & I are back in our hotel room (hubby is asleep), after spending a WONDERFUL time with our son, DIL and 2 grandbabies. First time we've seen them IN PERSON in over a year!!! It was WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL!!! My 5 year old granddaughter and I went for a short walk BY OURSELVES in the neighborhood to look at the beautiful lilac trees with all the bumblebees around the clumps of flowers, sucking the nectar out of them. We also smelled some pretty white blossoms on some hedges/bushes, that smelled like a delicious, mild vanilla....don't know what that was. Anyhow, our 2 year old grandson is such a card! He wasn't shy around us, which was great! We had a wonderful time!!!
Planning to go to a Strawberry Farm tomorrow. Forecast says rain but we are going to be brave. Just ordered those one buck raincoats. Fingers crossed. If everything goes well, we'll have some fresh strawberry jam!
Thanks Mum. Nothing yet.

@Mum wrote:

@HonnyBrown..take plenty of rest. Pt 2 tends to get rough sometimes.

"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
WOW! Reported in a Left leaning media outlet...Politico. Hard to ignore the confirming data from the Federal Reserve.
"Of the 15 states that have returned to pre-pandemic levels of economic activity, 12 are led by Republican governors, Federal Reserve data shows. Of the 10 states reporting the lowest levels of activity since January 2020, seven — including New York, Pennsylvania and Illinois — are run by Democratic governors.
Red states are also reporting lower unemployment numbers."

GO USA!
[www.politico.com]
Early job was so early, they notified us before 1 a.m.
Yay! This is how is is supposed to be every day!!!
*rubs sleep out of eyes/worked until 9 p.m.last night*


So in a few minutes we have a little road trip for little girlfriend and, as an offset, a few gigs to pay what she refuses to pay for fuel and a trip to a conveniently located bulk store to stock up on stuff that will make the next few local grocery shopping trips a little less cumbersome & costly. Absurd. But whaddya' do? Finally, I will be able to put my feet up and read a bit more of the current cozy, in which the talented and diverse knitters unravel yet another mystery yarn, (They are doing well. They got a major clue almost immediately. Why would/how could a left-handed person shoot themselves to death with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the right side of the head? But no spoilers. Some cozy fan might come across the book and be annoyed if they knew too much, too soon.)

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
Well, okay then. The early job is no more for us; hubby and tptb there have gone as far as they could go together, apparently.. How it happened, exactly, is a little murky. Someday I might know the whole story. But the good/bad news is that I can sleep more and work for more of the money that comes directly to me/and hubby will have less money for little girlfriend. Wait. How is that bad?

I am going to bundle up and get myself to the porch where it is cold, wet, and punctuated by drizzling rain. Mmmmm!

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
Luckily, no rain. We picked up 4 quartz of strawberries and now, I have two huge jars of jam!
What a good Friday! Working from home for just a half day, a good nap, and dinner at Red Lobster!!
I do not need to be awake this early, but I am still accustomed to those early hours. So while I am awake, I am doing a few things. The most important thing is looking for my copy of a wonderful book by Mechtild Scheffer. Her comments about Centaury (of is it Cerato) negative states are just the key to understanding Britney Spears and her struggle to get out from under the stubborn conservatorship. To me, she seems like a long-time oppressed soul who does not feel free to express fully all that is wrong because lying and pretending were the available coping mechanisms for such a long time. With whom and with what did she have to cope for all that time? And, just how did the too-weighty conservatorship become entrenched? Too many negative vine states thought a little too highly of themselves? That might be simplistic. I suspect that this famous conservatorship is, like many other situations, the product of a lifetime of multiple persons' issues that somehow get piled onto one person who hasn't the temperament or other supportive resources to avoid it.

Britney should now be free to define herself and choose whatever inputs will help her and reject those that would minimize or eradicate her. For how long has she made unhelpful choices because no one and nothing else were available? Why were no helpful persons available? Why were overbearing people foisted upon her life?

I know of what I speak. If I had not been told to my face that an individual (who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was like a negative vine state on steroids and a few other things) that they were going to nullify me and make me a non-entity, I would not have known my need to find a way out and away from that nihilistic mistreatment. So I am one of the people on the planet who cannot assume that every or any conservatorship is a good thing. Someone, somewhere, needs to envision the free and open space where Britney and other oppressed souls can sift, sort, and be. I can envision this, but I have no standing or opportunity to do more than envision and affirm it.

Britney Spears needs someone to do the heavy lifting and get that oppressive conservatorship off of her life so that she can breathe, define life, and live it. In this case, a well-informed attorney would file the appropriate forms and information and a keen judge would determine that the strong-arm conservatorship necessarily precludes Britney's life lessons. As a human, she encounters challenges. We all do. We learn as we go! Sometimes, we take more time than other people to learn some of life's lessons. But we remain free to learn as only we can. The conservatorship might have had some good intentions, but it prevents Britney from learning the lessons for her own life. This does not serve anyone well and might be doing more harm than good. Whereas this conservatorship makes Britney the equivalent of a child or non-entity, I declare that the relevant laws are wholly inadequate and must be changed. I declare that Britney is still a real live, living, breathing human being who deserves full adult human status, freedom, and access to all that life might be according to plan and according to nature, luck, or whatever else may surprise and even delight her sometimes.

All in favor, say I can hope, pray, and affirm. All opposed, please stand down and study your own copy of the Scheffer book.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
This morning we're going on a History Museum local bus trip that promises to show us things we don't know about the city. Then a Zoom meeting in the afternoon. Dinner at a friend's house.

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Eleanor Roosevelt
Trip to Trader Joe's for a neighbor who does not drive. Roast a batch of chicken thighs and package and freeze portions thereof for future meals. Laundry. Finding a few more July shops. Sorting and filing a lot of financial paperwork.

Based in MD, near DC
Shopping from the Carolinas to New York
Have video cam; will travel

Poor customer service? Don't get mad; get video.
@KathyG wrote:

This morning we're going on a History Museum local bus trip that promises to show us things we don't know about the city. Then a Zoom meeting in the afternoon. Dinner at a friend's house.
That sounds like fun!

Today my church is having its July 4th cookout...hot dogs, hamburgers, etc. We're a small church, so there will probably be like, maybe, 30 people. But it will be a nice time!
Chic-fil-a for breakfast.... Early morning oil change and $300 plus -of work.... a visit to an antique shop...Grocery store visit... I was thinking of starting up my gym membership again but the group fitness classes (Zumba <3) are still slim pickings. Is it too early to go back to the gym?
While at an early hair appointment, I realized my wallet was at home. That was bad because the 2 shops after the appointment were in that direction. I had to put a wrench in the cog and circle back home.

I needed my wallet because a) my license; and b) I wasn't sure if the locations I was shopping accepted Google Pay.

"I told myself to quit you; but I don't listen to drunks." -Chris Stapleton
I dunno. Is this a regional thing? Anyway.... for giggles, I looked online. There are some Zumba videos on Youtube. Would I have as much fun following along with one of these as I would in a class with other Zumba fans?

@Shopper797 wrote:

.... Is it too early to go back to the gym?

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
@Shop-et-al wrote:

I dunno. Is this a regional thing? Anyway.... for giggles, I looked online. There are some Zumba videos on Youtube. Would I have as much fun following along with one of these as I would in a class with other Zumba fans?

@Shopper797 wrote:

.... Is it too early to go back to the gym?

Zumba online is oookkkaaayyy but in person - with a good teacher it's GREAT. I might hold off and do Jazzercise via the app plus walk the dogs. That should get me going in the right direction.
Still adjusting to the concept of no more early job means a full night of sleep. Eventually, I will sleep through the night again. One person told me it took them more than a year to shed the early job schedule and have a more typical sleep cycle. Meanwhile, I completed a basic workout, three house tasks, one puzzle, and a new budget. It is not yet 2 a.m.

I am working every day for the next six days. Will I take a day off on Saturday? Will I push that little bit harder for a larger paycheck? Will I even be awake then?! These are the next contemplations... grinning smiley

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao-Tzu
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