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Gallows humor anyone?

April 09, 2020 01:17AM
My house got toilet-papered last night; it's now appraised at $1,875,000.
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April 09, 2020 01:34AM
Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter/Passover . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom.
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April 09, 2020 04:09PM
We are all gonna become so bored by the end of this that everybody is gonna know how to fold a fitted sheet.
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April 09, 2020 04:17PM
Better to be bored than to be on a board [autopsy table]. How the hell DO you fold a fitted sheet?
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April 09, 2020 04:21PM
On a board.
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April 09, 2020 04:23PM
@Opanel wrote:

How the hell DO you fold a fitted sheet?

[www.google.com]
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April 09, 2020 04:26PM
@JASFLALMT wrote:

On a board.
Good one! LOL
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April 09, 2020 04:29PM
I need to practice social distancing from . . . the refrigerator.
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April 09, 2020 05:11PM
My property taxes just went up because the contents of our home include 11 rolls of toilet paper, 3 bottles of rubbing alcohol, 4 pounds of rice and a can of Lysol.

(Also, why in hell would anyone attempt to fold a fitted sheet?)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2020 05:13PM by Sandy Shopper.
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April 09, 2020 05:27PM
@Flash wrote:

@Opanel wrote:

How the hell DO you fold a fitted sheet?

[www.google.com]

Or, try looking at this one!!! [www.youtube.com]
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April 09, 2020 05:29PM
@Flash wrote:

My house got toilet-papered last night; it's now appraised at $1,875,000.

With my apologies to Flash, since I took the above idea and ran with it:

My quaint little home wasn't worth much,
Maybe 80 thousand, but better still...
Last night someone TP'd my home and my trees,
And now it's worth half a mil !!!!!!!!
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April 09, 2020 05:46PM
When this is all over, we are throwing the biggest St.Patrick's Easter de Mayo of July Labor party anyone's ever seen
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April 09, 2020 05:59PM
I've been thinking about Osama Bin laden. He was stuck in his house with three wives for five years. I'm beginning to wonder if he called in those Navy seals himself
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April 09, 2020 06:08PM
My neighbor is keeping busy on a ladder painting the exterior of his house with a small brush. He should be finished by about 2022.
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April 09, 2020 07:53PM
I overslept this morning. Was late getting to the living room.
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April 09, 2020 07:57PM
(Disclosure: I get this stuff from Imgur)

"Grandpa, what did you do during the Great Coronavirus Panic of 2020?"

"Well son, I had a very dangerous job. I was a tailgunner on a Charmin delivery truck."
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April 09, 2020 08:29PM
Why is there such a TP shortage?

1 person sneezes and everyone in the vicinity craps themself.

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer
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April 09, 2020 09:11PM
You really could have Christmas in July...of 2021 (or 22).

@Flash wrote:

When this is all over, we are throwing the biggest St.Patrick's Easter de Mayo of July Labor party anyone's ever seen
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April 10, 2020 05:22AM
"Can I call you back in three hours? I'm cleaning my groceries."
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April 10, 2020 10:34AM
A lot of parents are finding out that the teacher was not the problem.
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April 10, 2020 05:24PM
@sestrahelena wrote:

A lot of parents are finding out that the teacher was not the problem.

Yeah, saw my neighbor out early this morning scraping the 'My Kid is a Terrific Student' sticker off her minivan. Guess that homeschooling isn't going so well.
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April 10, 2020 07:30PM
I'm certainly hoping the weather is good for my trip to Puerto Backyarda as I am getting tired of Los Livingroom!
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April 10, 2020 07:47PM
Boris Johnson is out of ICU and is being rushed to a hair stylist.
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April 10, 2020 07:54PM
Yes. his lochs almost lost him Scottish support.
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April 10, 2020 08:01PM
I want some of you to maintain social distance when this is all over.

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer
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April 10, 2020 09:09PM
I never expected to have so many long, grey-haired friends.

Shopping Southeast Pennsylvania, Delaware above the canal, and South Jersey since 2008
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April 10, 2020 09:10PM
Yep, hair styles are changing right in front of us!
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April 10, 2020 11:28PM
Don't you hate it when you finally clean out your freezer and find people you don't even recognize?
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April 11, 2020 03:37PM
My aunt sent me some good ones.

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

 Home-schooling update: 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
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April 11, 2020 04:53PM
nm - couldn't post pic

Kim


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2020 04:53PM by kimmiemae.
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